So it’s been seven and a half months since Beach 2 Battleship, and since then I’ve written all of three or four blog posts.  None of them have been very interesting or worth reading, really.  I didn’t write much for a number of reasons.  One was that after B2B, I didn’t do much training.  I mostly spent my time with my friends (which was great), or eating and watching TV (which was less great).  I felt so horribly gross and guilty, and I didn’t want to acknowledge that.  Whenever I don’t work out regularly, I feel so guilty and like a failure.  It eats away at me, and creates this downward spiral into frustration and self-loathing.

Sounds super fun.

The other thing that kept me from writing much was the divorce.  Ultimately, I was the one who made the decision, and I know it was the right decision.  But I was afraid to write much because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.  I know there are people out there who read this who may be upset if I had been writing something about being happy and spending time with friends, or eventually beginning to date again.  In relationships, I am always afraid of hurting someone’s feelings.  And this was no exception.  But starting now, I am going to stop censoring myself.  If my social life is not something you wish to know about, stop reading now.

So I am just over seven weeks away from Ironman Lake Placid, and I’m feeling slightly more optimistic about things.  Since my last post, I have biked the course (just one loop so far), and managed the hills much better than I thought I would.  I averaged 13.97 mph, which gives me some – not a ton – of breathing room for the first bike cutoff.  And I’m sure I can improve a bit still before the race.  I also did my 16 mile run yesterday and felt pretty good for most of that too.  My knees and ankles got a little stiff here and there, but they worked themselves back out as long as I kept moving.

Last week I went to my tri club’s first open water swim practice of the year.  Uugh.  I felt like crap.  I have been neglecting the swim, and it showed.  I know I’ll be okay on race day, but that was one crappy OWS.  I think part of it was the typical “first OWS of the year” nerves, and then on top of that, I was getting very dizzy.  I didn’t know what that was about until later.  But then I learned that’s pretty common when swimming in cold water without earplugs.  So next time I’ll try those.

So what’s next?

Next week I’ve got a 75 mile bike (hopefully), and an 18 mile run.  Hopefully I’ll get to OWS practice and things will be better with the earplugs.  I still have a few weeks to make some improvements, and I’m feeling more and more like that might actually be possible.  So that’s good.

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